Giant statue will make you cool

Some people like to impress guests with their 500-inch flat-screen television that has hi-def, surround-sound, 3-D and other digital enhancements that allow you to analyze everything in frightening detail, including which of Ty Wigginton's nosehairs were twitching when he tomahawked a clutch RBI-single to left (let me know when this happens). Others like to pretend they're an Iron Chef or a "Chopped" Champion, even pronouncing exotic foods from other countries with the exact accent from the corresponding distant land (let me know when this happens so I can kick that person's teeth down their throat).

But if you really want to impress your guests this summer, may I recommend going classic - as in, really, really classic - with the Easter Island Ahu Akivi Moai Monolith Statue from our friends at Design Toscano. The replica King Moai, inspired by the 380 A.D. Easter Island originals, is cast in resin and features a faux stone finish and comes in three sizes: Medium (16 inches in height, $29.95), Large (48 inches, $399) or Giant (72 inches, 92 pounds, $995).

The statue is supposed to represent gods or powerful kings, but I think it represents that you're one bad mo-fo. Especially if you go with the Giant.